All movies seen since Christmas, reviewed.

Preface
Unbeknownst to you—and for that matter—me, I am also a movie critic.  And you can’t spell criticize without critic!  I think some reviewers forget this, but not me.  It’s pretty safe, since I will admit up front that most movies are awful and I wish I didn’t spend so much time watching them but I blame it on society and the devil so I am exonerated from all charges and can now freely watch all the movies I possibly can with the caveat that I will snarkily comment on all their perceived failures and denigrate their creative time and effort!
To rate movies I will use my patented “outrageous number/ridiculous movie-related object combo” which will absolutely not stand up to any scrutiny or comparison.

(Theater)
Fantastic Mr. Fox
At first I was bitter at seeing another “kid’s movie” in the theater, because the last movie I saw was Where The Wild Things Are.  I enjoyed the former movie more.  It is funny.  It is cool looking.  In fact, it reminds me of how a Roald Dahl book should look.  The humor is an acquired taste, but I had already acquired it half of the way in.
Rating: 56 Boggises, Bunces and Beans

(on video)
The City of Ember
Again, another kid’s movie.  And again, I was pleasantly surprised.  The premise reminds me a lot of The Giver (which for some reason hasn’t been made into a movie) although there are some cheesy parts.  It is kinda creepy, which I don’t think a lot of movies can do to me. 
Rating:  200 Builders

After the Wedding
This is a Danish foreign film that reminds you how good non-Hollywood movies can be, just by mixing in something different like—I don’t know—an unhappy ending and morally ambiguous characters!  You know characters you can’t tell if they are good or bad, then they are good again and I’m all like huh?  Kinda like real life.  That is, if I lived in Denmark and I went to a wedding party and found out the bride was my daughter and her stepdad was dying and wanted me to marry his wife (your ex-lover).  Oh yeah, spoiler alert.  Oops.
Rating:  1,024 Honeymoons

Ivanhoe
Sheesh, all that introductory rambling and I still haven’t excoriated a movie!  Sorry, Mom, but this movie is downright silly.  And I think unintentionally so.  It was a TV movie, granted, but I’ve seen better.  I hope the book isn’t this bad. 
Rating: 2 lances

Twilight
If there is any more written about this movie or these books, the Internet will literally need to have a stake driven through its heart or be shot by a silver bullet or else it will start to suggestively force adolescent sex on you.
Rating: 9 man vampire infield and outfield

(already seen, but recently reseen)
Breach
Rating:  $3-4 billion lost in Government Intelligence
Catch Me If You Can
Rating:  3,000 bounced checks
The Three Amigos
Rating:  20 plethoras of pinatas