Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3
Picture 4
Picture 5
These last few days I have observed, studied and quantified the strange North American habit of decorating houses for holidays. I am not talking about your standard "Love" or "Snoopy" flags, no no--I speak of those who have climbed their way inside society to reach the very pinnacle of their field. The motives for such flamboyant eccentricity remain mysterious; however, I hypothesize it lies in a combination of vainness, unmanaged pyschological issues, pure unadulterated idiocy, and extreme "keeping up with the Joneses" hyper-competitiveness. I have ruled it out as a rite of passage or as part of some peacock-like mating ritual.
Equipped with a puke yellow expeditionary van and a trusty phone-camera apparatus, I ventured out into the wilds of suburbia to photograph these strange phonemona. I collected what I surmised to be the most extreme examples of this rare condition, and present it here for my peers to review.
In Picture 1, we see an arachnid theme which is repeated on many of the houses. I postulate that these people place a spiritual/religous value on the spider, and particular emphasis seems to be shown to the spider's web. A variation on this theme is shown in picture 3.
Picture 2 as well as Pictures 4-5 introduce a graveyard/cemetary motif, clearly showing the high emphasis the native McMansion dwellers place on ancestors. In pictures 4 and 5, great care was taken to add on an extension to the front porch of the house, showing unusual devotion to the holiday.
This holiday known in the native tongue as "Halloween" gives way to a rash of decorating-intensive holidays, beginning with "Thanksgiving" and proceeding to the granddaddy of them all, "Christmas"to then be followed anticlimactically by "Valentine's Day" and "Easter." I hope to update this with the crem-de-la-crem of those holidays in the future.
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