I Hope They Call Me on a Mission--Oh, Wait, They Already Did When I Was Twelve

As many of you no doubt know (and as I often like to vainly remind people), I served my mission in the Czech Republic from 2001-2003. If you like this picture here, you can see more of the silliness in my Facebook photos. But my mission wasn’t all silliness; it was actually a salad bowl mixture of intense work, heart-breaking grief and soul-fulfilling joy. To paraphrase Dickens, it was the best part of my life; it was the worst part of my life.

Many times during my mission I thought of ways to improve the work—to make it more effective and more efficient. Some of the ideas I had were beyond my control, like some of the fundamental structural elements of the missionary program. I would like to preface this by saying that the missionary program is inspired and that this all just a bit of fun.

1. I think that missionaries bound for foreign language, foreign culture missions should get their mission calls much earlier, like perhaps at 12 years old or even earlier. They can begin to learn the language and slowly learn more about the culture. This increased time will soften the steep learning curve which hampers much of the mission. When they are 16, all the future missionaries should spend part of their summer in their mission as part as a pre-mission camp where they can become accustomed to their country and get excited about their eventual mission. Converts who join the church later can fulfill the stateside missions, which they are better at anyways.

2. Instead of going to an MTC, all missionaries should spend a few weeks in a same-language, same-culture mission just so they can get some of the basics down of serving a mission. I think the last 6 months of a mission the missionary should get to decide whether he should stay in his mission or serve it out stateside.

3. The missionary look should be relaxed a bit. It looks way too formal in some situations and I know it turns just as many people off that it turns on. On my mission it always looked absurdly overdressed compared to the rest of the people. I still think there should be a dress code, but the rigid always white shirt/always dark suits look is unparalleled in the rest of the business formal world, which I always assumed the missionary look is based on.

4. Abolish contacting and tracting. These always scared me to death, and I hated it because I knew people hated it and I knew I would hate it if it was done to me.

5. Abolish district leaders, zone leaders, and especially assistants to the President. Spread the power around. A mission should be a true democracy, without the pettiness of power struggles.

6. Adopt a more presentational, passive approach. Instead of meeting everybody (including all the crazies), set up shop at certain spots, and let people come to you. Advertise, market, hold events so that people become interested and come in under their own volition. This is already done to some extent, in the form of English classes, sports nights, visitor’s centers, etc.

7. Become more service-oriented. Programs involving humanitarian efforts and charitable works should be entrenched in each area where missionaries work.

OK, I realize that these are pretty revolutionary ideas and are controversial, having their own benefits and drawbacks. Here are a few things I think should be kept the same:

1. Companionships.

2. Morning study.

3. (Most of the) Rules.

4. Preach My Gospel

Man, wouldn’t these changes be so cool? What do you think?