This post has been in draft stage for a while because I’ve aborted all previous attempts and wanted to do it right. According to Dr. Taylor Hartman’s Color Code, I have a “white” personality. There is no other pop-psych theory that so guides and influences my life. It has an unfairly disproportionate place in my thoughts and skews my perceptions of people, including myself. I first learned of it during my mission—my mission president was an ardent believer in the color code. He would assign companionships based upon the interactions between the colors. As a result of my “whiteness,” I was assigned to be with a lot of “reds.” When I was put in a threesome with two other “whites,” my mission president told me that it was a source of concern for him.
In the past few months, this theory of personality cropped up again in my personal relationships. It soon dominated my thoughts where it had once gradually receded. I began to color people into a certain personality and expect them to act a certain way and I likewise rationalized my own behavior. I have friends that also buy into the color code, and we would discuss at length the different permutations and practical applications of the “code.” One of these friends, whom I thought I had a great relationship with, decided that based upon this predetermined pattern our personalities were too incompatible.
Now, I have to confess that I have never read this book from cover to cover. However, I am confident that I have discussed it often enough and read enough snippets that I think I am not missing the point on any of it, and I daresay that none of what I will mention misconstrues the book in any way. In these discussions I have learned that people of my personality type, “white,” are never very big believers in the color code, and if you haven’t guessed it already, I follow blindly in lockstep.
That being said, I have been in awe at how well the code describes in a seemingly accurate way the behavioral patterns of different people. When you hear the descriptions of blues, yellows, whites, and reds, you feel like you know people like this. I feel like after a few exposures/interactions with a new person, I generally know where they would fit in the color code. I even find myself catering to their personality, since I determine whether they are motivated by power or fun or intimacy or peace.
I will now attempt to list off the top of my head the specifications of whites, intermingled with my own thoughts.
1. Motivated by peace. Whites are peacemakers. For me, I would just say, that it’s hard to pinpoint any one thing as motivation. Not because there’s so much motivation, but rather because nothing really motivates me. If you asked me to list all of my motivations without knowing about the color code, I doubt that I would even think of writing “peace.” Not that I don’t like peace, but I just don’t think I would think of it.
2. Introverted. I think that generally whites are the most introverted of the colors. This is definitely true in my case; I have no problems with this stereotyping. There have been plenty of times in my life where I have been downright scared of people—mostly those power-hungry reds.
3. Adaptable. I also agree that whites have to change the most from their natural personality to even survive in this world. Staying white will get you killed. I pride myself when people are aware of the color code and guess that I am a different color than white. It makes me think that I am doing a good job as a chameleon.
4. Easy to fall in love. Yes, I find this true in my life. I usually fall in love with girls and am ready to be loyal to them long before they feel the same. This usually leads to a whole lotta heartache.
5. Value quality over quantity. I don’t need a million friends; I just want a few real friends. I don’t want to have a long to-do list; I just want to have a good, happy day. I don’t want to get things done; I want them to be done right.
6. Anti-groups. Yeah, I don’t like groups. I am not a natural leader, and I don’t feel like I can participate in a conversation where there are more than 3-4 people. No one ever hears me. I don’t feel like yelling. Everyone else in the group is a jerk because they won’t listen to me. You can forget trying to organize any activity—no one will come. I like the thought that I have heard expressed: “Whites rarely speak up in groups, but they usually have the most thought-out opinions.”
7. Private with feelings. I have been astounded at how personal some people are in their Facebook statuses and blogs, because I usually want to put my best face out in public and don’t want people to know when I’ve had bad things happen to me or when I’m depressed. Admittedly, I’ve dabbled in it a bit myself, but I attribute that to my adaptability and my “other color”-envy. I suspect that blues are the most responsible for spilling their icky feelings online.
8. Passive-Aggressive. I take a bit of exception to this one, because I feel like it is a buzz word that whites are hit with, when no one has the same definition of this term and everyone draws people in before attacking them—not just whites. Besides, it’s a dang good strategy.
Now, there are probably more things, maybe even major things that I am forgetting. There is also the huge issues of secondary colors and how I mesh with the other colors. But I think I have painted a picture. And yes, for the most part I do agree that these attributes describe me fairly adequately.
My personal take on the whole color code is again influenced by my mission president. I learned from him that any two people (or more for that matter) can make any relationship work if they are both actively trying to make it work, regardless of the colors. I learned that all of the colors have strengths and weaknesses and that we should focus on the strengths. We shouldn’t use the weaknesses as excuses. We should value everyone with all different personalities. Beyond that, I believe there are subtleties and exceptions that make each person unique and uncategorizable.
I hope you all have enjoyed this intense evaluation of my personality. Please feel free to sock it to me, if you’ve got something to spout off about.
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